Our Douchebag Economy

Hurray, Thanksgiving Vacation is just around the corner.  If we can still eat as a result of this tanking economy, we’ll have something to be Thankful for.

I’d like to write a little about that, but I’m not sure what I’d say.  What I want to say is something along the lines of, “Douchebaggery: You Reap What You Sow.”

When Douchebags Attack

I find it interesting that fear of terrorism still carries a sting when we’re victimized in minor ways every day.  So a handful of foreign revolutionaries can cause loss of life and property every great once in awhile – according to tourism companies, even in the countries these organizations originate in, you’re more likely to die in a car accident.

Look in your email right now, and you know what you’re likely to find?  Viruses, credit card scams, and more.  When I tried to sell my laptop, I received several-times more offers from scammers over eBay than legitimate purchasers – that shit’s happening to us all right now.  These are the real terrorists, lets go invade their countries, or whatever it takes for their authorities to take notice that the people of our country really don’t appreciate being victimized.

Why all the hype about terrorism?  Because if we’re paying attention to who our real victimisers are, we might start noticing all the other ones we face on a daily basis:  Credit card and payday loan companies have invented ways to circumvent usury laws, legally tricking people into financial slavery.  Every time you download software these days, there’s a fairly good chance you’re installing some kind of invasive Adware, Spyware, or some other kind of Malware along with what you wanted.  Even your cell phone company may be scamming you: it’s interesting how text-messages take a minuscule fraction of a phone call’s bandwidth yet cost hundreds of times more.

In considering the economic impact of all these unchecked criminal (or should be criminal) acts, is it any wonder the economy is tanking?  We’ve allowed ourselves to be run by douchebags.

When Douchebags Rule

Every time a job went overseas; Every time a local worker was fired for something he or she had no control over; Every time a pointy-haired-boss was promoted over the intelligent and conscientious; Every time an advertisement insulted our intelligence; Every time it was revealed a CEO’s wage exceeded the profit margin of the company: we knew something was wrong.

Greed was never good.  Treating people like shit will just result in more shitty-feeling and acting people.  People should do their best to work for the mutual benefit of everyone within the scope of their niche in society.  When you take without giving back, you deplete who or what you took from, eventually ruining it for everyone.  We all knew these things, right?  Disagreeing with these fundamental aspects of morality is how douchebags get started.

Yet, even in knowing this, even when the national debt had become astronomical, we chose to stay the course in 2004.  Even as I write this, from what I understand, companies are taking their government bailout checks and trying to continue with business as usual.  They haven’t learned their lesson, and so the Douchebag Economy remains.

A Douchebag Economy seems good enough at first: “it’s nothing personal, just business.”  But the trouble with douchebaggery is that it is living by exploiting others.  Eventually, they run out of people and things to exploit, and then they come up not only empty but having destroyed the people and things that may have been able to save them.  We can’t return to “business as usual” because a douchebag’s business model is fundamentally a failure due by nature of depleting that which would allow a renewable cycle.

Thus, a Douchebag Economy is very much a flimsy house of cards, as flaky as any one douchebag is when pressed by the consequences of their actions.  Worse, it will take a long time to rebuild what they have destroyed: our economic security and the spirit of America’s citizenry.  In putting the douchebags in charge, we forced ourselves to follow them, and now there’s a bit of the average douchebag’s bad habits in us all.

The Douchebags’ Aftermath

The presidential election gave us some hope with one easy word: change.  I’d like to say things will turn around in 2008, and maybe they will.  But, damn, what a mess.  Unless Obama plans to start marching some greedy piggies to the firing squads, or whatever else it takes to stop people from making the kinds of decisions that perpetuate the Douchebag Economy, I don’t think adequate change is going to happen.  Consequently, we’re probably heading for another Great Depression… possibly much greater, as now we’ve twice the people involved.

I’m but one man, and as any man I hope to live and to realize dreams.  I dream I may be able to spend the rest of my life getting paid for the one job I truly seem to enjoy: creating computer games.  However, what chance do I really have to make a living in computer games?  Even if they’re good, software piracy is currently completely out of control.  If we really are at the cusp of another Great Depression, it may be decades before I can even find the time.  As was ever their nature, douchebags leave everyone else paying for their excess.

Does this story have a happy ending?  Well, you know, it’s life.  Whether today is happy, sad, or indifferent, a true story about life always ends in: “However, who can say what will happen tomorrow?”  I just hope we’re about to hit a patch where people stop being greedy and start paying attention.

3 Responses

  1. Obama is not the change you seek. He’s just another cog in the Douchbaggery machine. He claims to represent change and all he has done so far is talk about nominating tired same ole same ole politicians into his cabinet.

    Jamie Gorelick as Attorney General? Come on, this person is one of the key douchebags that lead to the housing meltdown and was a key contributor to Fannie May’s douchebaggery. The bottom line is there won’t be any major change and we will probably be plagued with higher taxes, higher dept, and an economy that gets even worse.

  2. To an extent, I consider taxes an offset of douchebaggery. To tithe some of your wealth for the good of the rest of society is precisely that. There’s a pretty good chance that the people responsible for instilling a fear of taxes would end up tithing more in one month than you’d make a lifetime, and much of that would end up supporting you. However, that they have been able to successfully convince you to support tax cuts regardless is an example of how we put the douchebags in charge.

    However, whether or not an Obama-led administration results in positive change is yet to be determined. He’s seeking to work with the douchebags rather than against them because, after a prolonged period of skimming the cream off America, they currently hold a good deal of the chips. It’s better than said douchebags deserve (e.g. the firing squads) but it’ll result in less of the unfortunate fallout involved (e.g. civil war).

  3. […] current economical situation is also a matter where incentives have gone awry.  We start with a desire to compete with a […]

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